hold on to me.

oh god. i can't stop shaking.
i don't know what to do any more.
it's killing me to know that is all that is keeping you from me.

i have this jealousy of the world
it knows you so muce better that i do.
should i be angry or happy.
you were willing to try until you thought it over.
i guess i'm relieved to know you thought about trying.
but now what should i do.
i want you to know that this could work.
it could be wonderful.
but now you don't even want to try.

this week will feel like forever.
both dreading and awaiting the day i will see you again.
i won't know how to carry myself
and i'd like to ask you not to look me in the eyes.