Sunday, April 22, 2007

count down to forever

it had been a while
and there were somethings that needed to be said
so they walked.

a bright blue sky overhead left room for thoughts to escape unspoken.
laying in the sun made way for awkward silences.
hours spent breaking down walls.
finally saying things that have waited so long
nothing will be the same after the moment hearts connect.
and all was calm.
then all at once the sun exploded.

just in case

if you haven't noticed-
i haven't written in quite awhile.
i feel like i need something.
or someone.
well.
no.
not someone.
but something.

this is going to sound selfish but i need an insperation.
something to write about.
i can't just write about the squirrels in my yard.
i need something with emotion.

just thought i'd put that out there.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

well.
there is this guy.
and he's really quite a lovely person.
not in a physical sense.

not to say he's lacking in any physical loveliness.
that would be lying.
but he's truly something,
more someone i've rarely met.

there is only one other person i can think of as of late
who possesses similar qualities.
and well.
the thing is.
he is the only person i can think of,
who has so quickly and so easily convinced me of his merits.
he is one to keep.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

oh my.
i'm at a loss for words.
just when i feel i'm lacking faith in my these people.

i don't know why.
but i feel like i'm at the edge
and he just pulled me back to safety.

in a figurative sense.
of course.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

and it was all yellow

eyes. with puffiness.
as they hold back sleep.
but i'd like to make you smile.
so i'll keep working.
*
*
*
she's a terror.
but she redeems herself.
don't let her offend you.
i promise she means well.

falling from such great heights,
it might take awhile to regain her strength.
she's a beauty. with tears in her eyes she laughs.
one of those over practiced saddened endings.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

hmm....

so. nick is home this weekend. again.
shweet. oh my. umm./ nilli-likki night tonight. mhmm. watchout commerce township.
oh man oh man oh man.
this class is...dramatic...yeah. let's say dramatic.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

a breakdown.
that's where i'm headed.
each song i hear
has it's own way of tearing me down.
to need you so,
someone i barely know.
i knew you once.
but that was long ago.
at least long enough to have no standing now.
please leave. and don't come back.
i'd hate to try this breakdown again.
hello.
we've not yet met.
i'd like to rush this process.
let's become acquaintances.
and perhaps. someday. much more.
i probably won't say this again soon.
but i'd like you to be here with me.

i just want you here.
the sooner the better.
i'm feeling quite fragile.
your support would be appreciated.

Monday, April 2, 2007

almost close enough

i miss you again.
and the tension is returning to my lungs.
i like it when you're almost tangible.

when i can hear you.
but i can't just reach out.
when you say my name, but push no further.
you seem so nearly convinced.

lyricsss

Choose the One Who Loves You More{Copeland}
Rain, rain, rain on my mind
I've got a secret life
Wipe, wipe, wipe it away
Nothing can make me dry

Fight all the while
Fight 'til I think I'm free
Feel rains we never see
Beautiful secret lives

It can make you face all your fears
It can make you face all your fears

Oh, smile, smile in a day
Fear takes its place at night
Oh, oh, I'm pretty in the rain
I love your secret life

It can make you face all your fears
It can make you face all your fears.

I could leave you well enough alone
Believe and you'll be overcome and gone
By grace away
Better off than if I stayed

I could leave you well enough alone
Believe and you'll be overcome and gone
By grace away
Better off than if I stayed
I could leave you walk away
We'll save it for another day

Through all the wars I've come to know
It's punches pulled, not towels thrown in

When they come knocking on your heart's door
Choose the one who loves you more
And when you've found something to die for
(Make you face all your fears)
They'll be knocking on your heart's door
(Make you face all your fears)

Sunday, April 1, 2007

endless fight.

when i fell i never realized how far i'd gotten.
a raindrop in the lake.
and the waves keep returning to shore.

a new current and
you pull me under without trying.
imagine if effort were there.

each time i see you
is just another relapse
to an illness that never left.
oh no. there you are again.
i see you and everything seems a little lighter.
negativity seems just a little less heavy.

you're a problem that persists.
and you say she's something good,
and i hope she really is.
as long as you end up alright.
but this needs to change.
somehow.
or this will take quite long to be rid of you,
and these thoughts of potential.